Deep down in me...

Track: Too Serious Too Soon... (Gareth Gates)
Time: 1720hrs...
Status: Pondering over how to correct what was wrong...
Feelings: A bit down, but I know I won't think too much...
Quote: Don't doubt your beliefs and believe your doubts...

Well... I've sent the latest e-mail (to her mom)... It's not a decision, more of a choice... Let it happen naturally... It takes time for some things to subside... Here's the content...

Cik... Something I seriously have to admit...

My latest e-mail to you... was sent in a state of hassle... I know I've stated that I don't want to be mentioned anymore... But deep down... Cik... I'm willing to give another shot to win her heart... This time, I'm ready to face any risks...

I know Cik might think I'm all fickle about this... And the whole moving on issue... I know I have moved on, and I feel that I am more of a complete individual now... Which is why I feel more ready to take this challenge on... a second time...

What made me admit this, Cik might ask... It's due to the simple fact that I still strongly care for her... And from her latest blog entries, the tension level in her seems to be drastically increasing... Generally, I can't bear seeing any of my friends in a dire state... If it's within my effort to help and make them feel better, I will do it... This case, yeah...

However, this time, I think it'll be much slower... There's nothing to rush into... I'm still adapting to my hectic schedule and I can see that generally, most of the sec 3s are still trying hard too... Oh... More updates... Hahaz... I'm undergoing selection to be part of the Orientation 2 (March intake of JC1s) planning committee... I've passed the first round... Just completed the second round... Hope I can make it through... This O² is considered to be a CCA... Pioneer JC is turning out to be a blast... I'm interacting with more people and enjoying myself in the process...

So... I think now, the tendency of me staying in PJC is raised to 50%-50%... Hope my O-level results permit me to... And I've gotten the date... 28th February 2005, release of my O-level results... I'm both nervous and excited... Hehe...

That's all for now Cik... Hear from Cik soon...

Wasalam
Muhammad Khalis

Well... This time, I know that it'll be an even harder challenge... The important thing is, I believe in myself and stay true... Isna!!!... Sorry for making and spinning you round and round... This is what I'm going to pursue... The recovery might take more time, but I know this is what I want... It's not about turning around... It's about moving on into something realistic... Like mentioned above... I'm more than ready... Hope to get your support... LX's support is already there... I'll take this in my own stride... Khalis out...

but i'm not going to be ok ; 5:29 PM